


The Fear of Falling Apart

by TimmyJaybird



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Established Relationship, Fluff, Frottage, M/M, Oral Sex, Rutting, S5E3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 15:57:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16519556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimmyJaybird/pseuds/TimmyJaybird
Summary: Ryan is rattled, worse than he has been in a bit, and Shane can't just let that slide.





	The Fear of Falling Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Please go watch the latest episode if you haven't, preferably before reading this. Not that I can spoil much.
> 
> I apologize for errors. My laptop is truly about to die and there's a lot of keys on my keyboard that just don't work anymore.
> 
> And, as before, remember, this is all fiction. Fake. I made it up. For pure enjoyment.
> 
> Also title taken from Panic! at the Disco's "This is Gospel".

Shane doesn’t even have their hotel room door shut before Ryan is making a beeline for the bathroom. He’d been fidgety the whole ride back from the prison, which wouldn’t have been that strange, except that he was, for the most part,  _ quiet _ .

 

“I just want a shower,” he said, not looking back as Shane locks the door. A moment later the bathroom door is shut rather hard, and Shane hears the shower kick on a moment later. He drops their stuff down carefully in the chair set off in the corner of the room, before heading to his bed and plopping down at the end.

 

The prison itself was  _ fine _ , and Shane figures there’s a good episode there with everything they got. Or didn’t, in his opinion. But it’ll get eaten up. There’s plenty of interesting history there, regardless.

 

It was that damn last room though. Those  _ bats _ . Shane doesn’t consider himself scared of many things, but they were  _ unnerving _ . Coupled with the fact that the whole room stank, that it was  _ hot _ , and hell,  _ he _ sort of wanted to just shower and wash it all away too.

 

And Ryan always took things ten times worse than he did.

 

Shane unzipped his jacket, shrugged out of it and tossed it to the floor. He waited a moment, weighing the options of what he could do- just say  _ fuck it _ and stretch out and pass out, fuck around on his phone-

 

The moment was short lived and he was up, heading for the bathroom door. He rapped his knuckles on it twice, called out, “Ryan,” and didn’t get a response. Which was  _ fine _ , because if Ryan really didn’t want him around he would have said it.

 

Shane opened the door, was met by rising steam already. The water had to be  _ hot _ , it had only been a few minutes. He closed the door behind him, paused to flick on the fan to get some of the moisture out of the air. Ryan was _ awful _ about remembering to use those things.

 

“Hey man, you alright?” Shane can’t see Ryan past the shower curtain, but he can hear him moving under the water. He can picture him scrubbing his hair a little too vigorously, like he’s trying to wash out the scent that prison air could have left behind.

 

After a moment he finally gets a very fake sounding, “I’m fine.” Shane doesn’t buy it for a second. He heads straight for the shower, grabs the curtain and yanks it back. Ryan turns his head, glares at him, but doesn’t shoo him away. Just asks, “What the hell Shane?”

 

The water is misting onto Shane’s tshirt, but he doesn’t really care- because Ryan’s eyes are still too big and he still looks so  _ rattled _ . Which isn’t far from normal, but Shane can still  _ see _ him bent over in nervous laughter, and actually admitting he was  _ crying _ .

 

So, instead of just  _ telling _ Ryan he knows he’s lying, instead of starting a conversation like any  _ smart _ person, Shane does what he always wants to do when Ryan is scared.

 

He kisses him.

 

It is, admittedly, not the best decision, or the  _ dryest _ , but Shane sort of doesn’t care. The water is warm and while he’s wearing his glasses still and its getting on his tshirt and  _ that _ feels awful, it could be worse. 

 

The kiss isn’t much. It’s a glide of willing lips on willing lips, with Ryan’s eyes shutting instantly and him leaning in towards Shane, helping to keep him from the direct flow of the shower. Shane reaches up with one hand, cups the back of Ryan’s neck, and when the kiss breaks leans his forehead to Ryan’s.

 

And Ryan just says, “I fucking hate bats man.”

 

They both  _ laugh _ over that. Laugh because the whole situation is ridiculous, but it’s what they need. The tension has eased slightly from Ryan’s shoulders and eyes, and Shane considers that a win.

 

“We’re gonna flood the bathroom,” Ryan adds, and Shane just shrugs and goes in for another kiss. Just  _ one _ , he tells himself, just to smooth things over and clinch Ryan’s comfort, but one turns to two, turns to him biting at Ryan’s lower lip, and  _ fuck the floor and the bathroom let it flood _ .

 

Ryan groans into it, gets his hands on Shane’s tshirt, which is beyond damp and leaning towards soaked. He grips at it as his head tips back, as Shane’s hand  _ not _ cupping his neck goes for his bare hip, clutches the wet skin tightly. When Shane finally breaks the kiss, lets them both breathe, Ryan can only offer a breathy  _ fuck _ that goes straight to Shane’s dick.

 

“Wanna?” It’s asked with a distinctly  _ not sexy _ waggle of Shane’s eyebrows, and Ryan snorts a laugh, tipping his head back and looking as if he was trying to find the patience to deal with this man.

 

“Well maybe I  _ did _ about fifteen seconds ago.” They both just grin over that, and Shane lets go of Ryan long enough to remove his glasses, which he can barely see out of now. He tosses them off onto Ryan’s towel, folded on the closed toilet lid, and takes a moment to sink down onto his knees, going slowly because he  _ knows _ the hotel bath mat is basically just a  _ towel _ and isn’t going to cushion him at all.

 

Ryan watches, as Shane leans over the lip of the tub, gets both hands on Ryan’s hips and squeezes. His mouth finds his stomach, kisses just below his navel, and Ryan shudders. His head tips back slightly, as Shane mouths his way down wet skin, not caring that the shower is getting his hair wet slowly. Ryan’s body blocks the majority of it at least.

 

“Sure you don’t want to?” Shane asks, skirting around Ryan’s cock, which is hard already, was hard after that second kiss. He kisses just next to the base, and Ryan lets out a shaking breath. Another whispered  _ fuck _ , and then a wet hand sinking into Shane’s hair. Shane glances up, sees the line of Ryan’s throat, and if he wasn’t so intent on getting his cock in his mouth, he’d be back up to suck at it, to pepper it with bruises. “Gimme a word or two Ry. Yay or nay.”

 

Ryan swallows a little laugh, before he glances down at Shane, nods his head. Gets out “ _ please _ ” and that’s good enough. Shane could read his body language anyway, but he  _ likes _ when Ryan admits he wants it. Wants  _ him _ .

 

He wraps one hand around Ryan’s cock at the base, the other keeping to Ryan’s hip. He places a kiss to the side of his cockhead, then slowly drags his lips down his shaft. He feels Ryan tremble, feels him tug on Shane’s hair gently. Shane ignores it all, drags his tongue up along the underside of Ryan’s cock until he’s flicking off his glans. It’s a little showy, a lot obscene, but it’s doing exactly what Shane wanted.

 

Ryan’s eyes are big and dark for things other than fear now. His mouth is slightly open, and  _ fuck _ , with the water still riveting down him, Shane’s pretty sure he’s seeing a god. Maybe he could believe in something supernatural if Ryan just outright  _ admitted _ he was ethereal.

 

Shane tears his eyes away to close them, so he can suck Ryan’s cockhead into his mouth. He rolls his tongue around it, gathers up salty precum and swallows it down. He rather  _ likes _ it, not that he’ll admit it anytime other than when he’s actually sucking Ryan off. 

 

He gives Ryan’s hip a little squeeze, and then eases more of his cock into his mouth. His fist is pumping slowly, his tongue doing  _ wonders _ that Ryan can’t even comprehend, but fuck if Shane hasn’t gotten enough practice with him to know exactly what he likes, how he ticks.

 

“ _ Babe _ .” It’s breathy and Shane doesn’t hear it much, not from Ryan. He shivers all over, his cock giving a heavy twitch in his jeans. He’s aching to get some friction, some release, but he wants to savor this, wants to focus on Ryan, pull him apart. At least the best he can, given he’s kneeling on a hotel bathroom floor and the shower water is  _ definitely _ soaking into the bathmat and his jeans.

 

Shane begins to bob his head as he strokes, each time getting just a bit more in over his tongue. Ryan’s beginning to shake, blunt nails scratching lightly at Shane’s scalp. The hand on Ryan’s hip glides down along his thigh, feels the muscle quivering. That alone makes Shane groan, muffled by Ryan’s cock, and then he’s going all or nothing, getting Ryan in until his nose is pressed to the dark, wet curls at his groin.

 

“ _ Fucking  _ **_fuck_ ** , Shane.” Shane wants to smile but  _ can’t _ , so he channels the joy in hearing Ryan sound so desperate, so breathy, so  _ perfect _ , into easing back, before taking him all in again. He can feel tears in the corners of his eyes as he fights down his gag reflex, but it’s worth it,  _ so worth it _ . Both his hands go to Ryan’s hips to squeeze, to help keep him still. Ryan’s trying to rock into his mouth, to chase it, getting desperate.

 

Shane’s mouth is salty, flooded with a fresh wave of precum. He can feel every twitch and pulse of Ryan’s cock. His jaw aches but  _ fuck _ if he wants to stop. He’d die happy if his jaw was literally severed from his skull by Ryan’s dick. 

 

His fingers dig into Ryan’s hips harder, hard enough that it  _ hurts _ and maybe there will be little bruises. Ryan likes it though, gets both his hands in Shane’s hair and tries to hold him steady, tries to fuck his mouth. And in the last second Shane lets him, gets a breath and lets Ryan’s hips cant into him, cock filling his mouth, taking over all his senses.

 

“Fuck, Shane, gonna…gonna-  _ fuck _ !” He shouts, and Shane feels the flood of cum on the back of his tongue. He tries to swallow, the motion making Ryan whine, dragging his orgasm on, as Shane’s mouth just fills  _ again _ . It’s so much and Shane is dizzy, fingers shaking as they grip Ryan’s hips. Ryan is still tugging at his hair, holding him steady, forcing Shane to swallow around him again.

 

When Ryan’s fingers relax their grip on Shane’s hair, Shane pulls off. He gasps a breath, turns his head and coughs, his hands going from Ryan’s hips to grasp at the lip of the tub. He can feel Ryan’s eyes on him, and when he looks up, mouth slightly open, lips swollen and red, hair mussed up, Ryan gives a little gasp.

 

His cock actually twitches, and  _ that’s _ just how badly Shane gets to him.

 

Shane swallows, tries to get back into his head, to calm the rush of his pulse. He feels like there’s no blood in his body except in his groin, and it’s hard to form words at first. He licks his lips, all salt and bitterness, before he finally manages, “We’re flooding the bathroom.”

 

Ryan seems to snap out of the arousal induced stupor he’d fallen into it, and glances around Shane. And  _ yep _ , the mat is soaked, the floor is wet, and the water is still spraying off his body and out of the shower. He curses, turns and reaches out to kill the spray. Shane takes that moment to stand up, knees a little sore and legs a little weak. He reaches up to comb his fingers through his wet hair, pulled out in all directions from Ryan, before glancing down at himself.

 

Yep, tshirt soaked. Knees of his jeans wet. And just like that it’s uncomfortable.

 

“I need to go change,” he says, grabbing his glasses off Ryan’s towel- but also grabbing the towel itself. He holds it out to Ryan, who takes it gladly, before reaching out, grabbing Shane’s wet tshirt and keeping him still.

 

“Hey, wait.” He leans out, kisses the corner of Shane’s mouth sweetly. “ _ Thanks _ .”

 

Shane smiles at that, gives no response beyond the curve of his lips. He turns and leaves the bathroom, not shutting the door behind him. He sets his glasses on the nightstand by his bed, peels his tshirt off and wads it into a ball that he leaves on the floor. He works his jeans off next, feeling a little cold as the chilled air gets at wet skin. They’d cranked the AC up before leaving, figuring they might be warm when they came back.

 

Shane shivers, in nothing but his boxers, sporting the sort of hard on that could probably kill him from blood loss to his brain. He takes a deep breath, trying to  _ not _ focus on it, when Ryan comes out of the bathroom, working the towel over his hair.

 

“We… might need to try and clean that up,” he admits, before tossing the towel to Shane. He’s still blissfully naked but mostly dry, and Shane stares for a second or two too long, once again wondering how Ryan is even  _ real _ . When Ryan grins, that knowing smile that means he  _ caught _ Shane, Shane turns his glance to the towel he’s holding.

 

“So which part was on your balls, because I’m not drying my hair with that.”

 

Ryan laughs, shaking his head and walking for Shane’s bed. “Jesus Shane, you’ll put them in your  _ mouth _ .”

 

“That doesn’t mean I would rub them on my face.”

 

Ryan just keeps shaking his head, sitting on Shane’s bed, still making no move to get dressed. Shane towels his hair a bit, feeling goosebumps trying to rise up on his skin.

 

“Pretty sure you asked me in there if I wanted to fuck,” Ryan says, without prompt. Shane pauses, catching Ryan’s stare.

 

“Didn’t we?”

 

“Not  _ literally _ .” A wicked little grin tugs at Ryan’s lips, and he lays back in Shane’s pillows, propped up and looking like he should be  _ pampered _ . Shane feels his heart give a  _ thud _ and his dick pulse, and  _ fuck _ if that doesn’t sound like a good idea.

 

Except… “Uh, we didn’t bring lube.”

 

Ryan laughs, the loud sort of sudden noise that shouldn’t be attractive but  _ is _ , and Shane can’t help but join him. They were trying to still be a  _ little _ discrete, and they were here for a  _ shoot _ . Still, Shane was cursing that he hadn’t tossed it in his bag.

 

“Lose the underwear and c’mere anyway big guy.”

 

Shane complies, because really there’s no way to  _ not _ , and not a single fiber of his being, his existence, that would want to ignore that request. He leaves his boxers on the floor and crawls onto the bed, one leg between Ryan’s, the other outside one of Ryan’s thighs. He hangs over Ryan, and Ryan reaches up, rubs his hands along Shane’s shoulders. He’s all warm from the shower and it relaxes Shane, even as Ryan leans up, kisses his neck.

 

It’s tender, it’s that soft and sappy sort of side that Shane lives to see Ryan melt into. But then there’s a drag of his teeth right on Shane’s pulse, and Shane remembers he’s still achingly hard and Ryan is naked beneath him.

 

Shane relaxes until he’s laying on Ryan, his cock pinned between his body and Ryan’s thigh. Ryan’s mouth finds his, and they’re kissing. Which Shane lives for.  _ Really lives for _ .

 

Ryan’s tongue pushes into his mouth, pushes at his teeth like he likes the sting of the points. Shane shifts around, gets a little friction as his cock drags on Ryan’s thigh, and groans.

 

“Yeah,” Ryan breaths into his mouth, before nipping at his lip. He flexes his thigh, and without thought Shane ruts right down into warm skin and hard muscle, and Ryan grins. “Like that?”

 

Shane can’t form words. He’s too pent up, needs some sort of release. And then Ryan’s hands are clutching at his back, his nails digging in, and he’s kissing Shane like a madman. No reserves, no concerns, and Shane just grinds into him, ruts desperately. Ryan shifts around with him, hips bucking up, his own cock slowly getting hard again.

 

Shane tears his mouth from Ryan’s, heads for his throat. He kisses below Ryan’s ear, before sucking at his pulse point. Ryan mewls, the sort of sound that makes Shane’s cock leave a slick trail of precum along his thigh. The sort of sound he only makes when Shane sucks bruises into his neck.

 

“Fuck, everyone’s- everyone’s gonna  _ see _ .” Ryan isn’t mad, doesn’t sound it, he’s just  _ observing _ , and Shane doesn’t bother responding. When he’s done with that spot, he goes just below, sucks again. Ryan smells like soap and he’s so fucking warm that Shane is losing his mind.

 

Ryan’s nails press little crescent moons into Shane’s back, before raking up his back. Shane hisses, hips canting forward, and  _ fuck  _ for a second it’s like he’s really driving into Ryan, really being swallowed by that heat.

 

Spurred by the thought, spurred mostly by the ache in his cock and the tight knot in his belly, Shane pushes himself up, huffs out, “roll over,” and they’re a mess of limbs and awkward movements. Shane gets on his knees, ends up between Ryan’s legs as he settles on his belly.

 

Without ceremony Shane reaches out, grabs Ryan’s ass. He kneads the flesh, and Ryan lifts his hips, groaning, spreading his legs wider.

 

Shane wishes so  _ badly _ he could fuck Ryan. He’d give just about anything to- fuck, he might be coerced to even admit a  _ few _ ghouls out there are  _ plausible _ , if he could just lose himself in his boyfriend.

 

Instead he grabs Ryan’s hips, jerks them up higher so Ryan’s knees are pressed into the bed. His cock is hard again, and a single drop of precum drips down onto the bed, leaving a wet connection for a moment. Shane shivers over it, before he’s slotted between Ryan’s legs, hips jerking like he was fucking right into him. His cock nudges Ryan’s balls, ends up leaving a trail of precum on Ryan’s inner thigh, and then it’s brushing his cock.

 

Shane leans over him, brackets him with his arms, gets his mouth on the back of Ryan’s neck. He sinks his teeth in, so damn close to breaking skin that the pain has Ryan jerking. He shoves back against Shane, whose hips are moving desperately now. He’s rutting into him, against his thigh, his dick, his balls,  _ any _ bit of skin he can get.

 

Ryan sobs out a breath, and Shane laves his tongue over the bite mark that is  _ definitely _ going to be visible come morning. His breath huffs into Ryan’s skin, his hair, and Ryan shakes all over.

 

“C’mon big guy,” he manages, and Shane might laugh if he wasn’t so far gone. Instead he pulls back, forces Ryan’s hips down into the bed. His cock rubs against Ryan’s ass, then between flesh, slides  _ against _ his hole. Ryan shudders, chokes on his words, squirms desperately. Shane’s panting, more with want than with the exercetion. He’s losing his sight, seeing white crackling at the corners of his vision, feeling static sliding up and down his spine.

 

He comes with a shout  _ unlike him _ , cum splashing along Ryan’s spine, sliding along his ass, over his hole, as Shane’s hips jerk back at the end. It’s filthy and it’s perfect and it sets Ryan off, who presses his face into a pillow to muffle his own groan, his cock pulsing weakly between his body and the bed. There’s not much left in him, but the orgasm wracks him regardless, leaves him shaking, his toes curling.

 

When Ryan begins to relax, Shane slides down onto the bed next to him, on his side. He reaches out to stroke Ryan’s hair, fingertips sliding down to the teeth indents in the back of his neck. Ryan hisses, slowly lifts his head and turns to look at Shane.

 

They just stare for a moment, before Ryan finally says, “Dude, you came on my  _ back _ .”

 

“And your ass.”

 

“ _ And my ass! _ ”

 

“There was a bat going for it earlier. Just marking the ole territory.”

 

Ryan rolls his eyes, and Shane chuckles. He climbs out of bed, even if his long limbs feel completely jelly like, and finds the towel they tossed on the floor. He leans over, wipes up the mess on Ryan’s back.

 

“Please, don’t be troubled to move a muscle.” He’s sarcastic and yet he’s  _ sweet _ , and it shouldn’t even be possible. Ryan turns his head to glance at him and smiles.

 

“Your mess.” Shane shakes his head, tosses the towel back on the floor when he’s done. Ryan sits up after that, glances at the small wet spot on the sheet, and then climbs out of bed, moving to the other one. “Turn the light off,” he says, “and get over here.”

 

Shane complies, flicking the light off and drowning them in a soft darkness. He makes his way to Ryan’s bed, slides in naked right next to him. There’s a bit of readjusting, but eventually their legs are tangled together, Ryan pressed right up along Shane’s back, forehead tipped against the back of his head.

 

“Thought we had to clean up the bathroom,” Shane mumbled, as Ryan’s hand slides along his belly, fingers soft and affectionate.

 

“That’s a problem for future Shane and Ryan.” Shane can’t argue that, he’s too tired. He just wants to get a few hours of sleep before the trip home. He closes his eyes, focuses on the warmth Ryan radiates against him, on the fact that his limbs feel pleasantly soft and liquid-like and  _ detached _ . He’s drifting when he hears Ryan ask, very softly, his own voice thick with fatigue, “Hey, Shane?”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

Ryan’s hand splays on his belly, and his arm tightens, as he tries to move impossibly closer. “Thanks.”

 

He doesn’t need to say for what. Shane knows it’s for recognizing Ryan’s fear. For distracting him from it. For working him through it. For  _ caring _ .

 

“No prob, Ry.” He yawns, and there’s the faint feeling of Ryan’s lips, on the back of his shoulder.

 

“Love you.” It’s mumbled, the words are slow and thick, and it all leaves Shane feeling ungodly warm and full of flitting  _ somethings _ .

 

“Love you too, Ryan.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please do not have any sort of sex with the shower running and open, you will flood your bathroom. Please.


End file.
